Dear Lily Allen,
You are not being fair. You posted 4 wonderful new songs on your myspace page a few months ago. I listened and listened to them. And I loved them! Your new album doesn't come out til february which in itself is hard enough to wait for. Why do you tease me so? Then you have the nerve, the audacity! to take them off again? Please! I need them Lily... I miss them. I can't wait til february....Just think about it.
Love, Sarah Jane
So I get home from my date last night and I opened my garage with the code, walked in, and shut the garage as I went inside. I walked inside my house and the lights were all off, no one was home. I walked upstairs, leaving the lights off. Right as I got up to the top floor I heard a door shut and noticed the light go on downstairs. "HELLO?" I said, thinking it was one of my companeras de cuarto. No one answered me but I heard foot steps and heavy breathing. So I look over the ledge to see A MAN in my kitchen. He was just walking around down there breathing heavily. I ran into my bathroom scared out of my mind. I mean I was the only one home!!!!! I called Syb who was just three minutes away at Mikes and the two of them, Cook and Ashlee were on their way. Mind you I am hyperventilating and shaking uncontrollably while locked in the bathroom thinking there is a psycho killer in my house and I will be dead or being attacked as they arrive. I stayed on the phone with Syb the whole time she was on her way and I kept thinking what if i'm crazy this is going to be so embarassing but I knew he was there because at that point he was SINGING. Yeah. I thought I was done for. Mike and Cook walk in the garage door downstairs and as I hear that I hear them talking to someone! They found the guy laying on my family room floor... he was apparently completely high and thought he was at his friends house. He kept swearing and saying like are you F-ing kidding me i'm in the wrong house?? and they had to take him down to where he really was supposed to be at three houses down. The part that really gets to me is that he had to have followed me in when I came into the garage because the front door was deadbolted. So much for a safe neighborhood, if someone can accidentally come in behind me while I shut my garage I'm sure any creep can. I am now Paranoid.
I have never been so disturbed. Why is it that no matter what it is you want to look for in this world you will always find something cruel, exploitive, or scandalous behind it. Getting a good deal on anything is almost not worth it because of the guilt that comes with it. I just want a puppy! I want my own. Which is a very unrealistic wish considering that I rent where I live and probably will for a long time so I just look at them. I search today wanting to look at some cute puppies to satisfy my craving, and instead I find these stories about puppy mills! I had no idea what they were so I had to read more... (wikipedia puts it the most simply)
Puppy mills (also known as puppy farms outside of the United States) are large-scale dog breeding facilities that operate under substandard breeding conditions, causing the development of chronic health problems, temperament issues, and hereditary defects in puppies that come from the mills.
The term can be applied to operations involving other animals irresponsibly bred for profit, there are also "kitty mills."Animals that have been produced in mills are most commonly sold at pet stores to unsuspecting consumers.
Responsible breeders raise their animals with the intent to produce a healthy dog, and to provide a quality pet for responsible owners. Good breeders will take into consideration breed-specific health problems, genetic screening, physical condition, age of the dog and temperament before producing litters. A good breeder will carefully nurture the mothers and the puppies they produce. They will constantly check the puppies for health ailments, and ensure they are properly socialized. Before placing puppies in their homes, breeders screen potential customers rigorously, and will often provide a pedigree. A good breeder should provide at least a two year health guarantee with their puppies, and one that does not require the return of a pup. They will provide new owners with all the information necessary for caring for their puppy. In contrast, dogs bred in puppy mills are usually kept in overcrowded and unsanitary conditions. They usually do not receive adequate food, water or veterinary care. Both breeding dogs and their puppies tend to be housed in extremely cramped conditions, often exposed to the elements. Females are sometimes forced to breed every time they are in heat to increase profits, resulting in gradually decreasing sizes of litters. As puppies, mill dogs are weaned from their mothers well before the eight to ten weeks recommended. Dogs in puppy mills are often bred indiscriminately. While puppies produced from puppy mills may come with pedigrees, the pedigree itself is neither an indication of quality nor authenticity — many pedigrees produced by puppy mills are faked.
This just makes my heart hurt it is so horrible. Man's best friend being treated this way?? I don't know what to do.
cass, ali, adrienne, jess, syb, broo, trista, corn. i have posted like 5 blogs in the past week. and not one comment from any of you. i will not blog again until this is made right! i feel i'm writing to a wall peace out trout.
i miss you and i want you back here NOW! everyone is in agreeance. Why is it snowing. I am sooo not going outside.
On the bright side, I have a sore throat from hell and I can't swallow or speak without wanting to yelp like a puppy for my mom.
Cheers.
Not going to Holi, a festival of colors at the Hare Krishna Temple. I heard about it in february. Wanted to go. Then completely forgot about it.
As ashamed as I am to admit it, I flew today.
I got to Platinum today at precisely two p.m. and it being my third day I don't have an access card so I knocked on the glass door. Through the window I could only see one girl sitting at a cube directly in front of me, it looked like she had just sat down. She wasn't on a call, her computer wasn't turned on yet. She had wet hair. Pet peeve. She turned around and saw me knocking, and then turned back around. So... I knock again. She turned around again and motioned to someone and a different girl came and let me in the door. I immediately felt a little sheepish around the broad who is still sitting there doing absolutely nothing, as far as I could tell. I looked and saw that my boss Brian was not there. So I looked in the Data Entry area and saw Malerie and Britney and some really annoying kid all training at the same desk and I was like dang. I wish that annoying kid wasn't sitting with them so that I could, but I can just find someone else to watch today. But then I realized that they, and the girl who didn't want to open the door for me were the only ones in that row so I'm like ..NEXT! In the next row of cubes I see this guy, we'll call him X, who isn't a supervisor but he is always helping everyone and i'm thinking he is some type of senior compared to me. So I ask him Are you X? He says yes. So I say I'm Sarah, I'm new and I don't really know where to go because my supervisor isn't here and it looks like there is no one for me to sit with today so maybe I could try being on my own phone as long as there is someone next to me I can ask questions to. So he asks me have I answered any calls, I say about ten or so, and I feel pretty confident. He gets up and looks around to find an empty cube with a computer, and there is only one. I tell him I don't know my logins yet and he says he bets I don't have any. So he says just sit at that computer, and points to one in the corner. So I do. And he walks away. So I sit there and ten minutes goes by. I am twiddling my thumbs, debating, do I get out my brand new strawberry shortcake coloring book and 64 pack of crayons, or is it too soon for coloring? I decide yes it's too soon. So ten more minutes pass and I text a little and then yes ten more minutes go by. I look around the corner of my cube wondering if X is coming back to give me passwords, or what. And I see X sitting back at his desk playing a game I don't recognize on addictinggames.com. Yes. All of a sudden I realize that I am completely being ignored in every respect of the word. I was shoved into a corner and forgotten about. So I stood up, and walked out the doors, and no one even looked up from their computer. As I walked to my car I was overwhelmed with the urge to cry. I didn't know why because I knew that was stupid but it's just what happened. I will explain to Brian on monday that I didn't know what to do and there was no one to train me and he wasn't there and hopefully he will understand. I am not proud of what I did but I can't take it back. So as I soaked in my bubble bath I was thinking and realized that I was given a choice today, fight or flight. I could have fought my own feelings of humiliation and awkwardness and just pure cluelessness and gone around asking everyone do you know what I should do?? Or I could have ignored my hard feelings toward wet-haired girl and asked to sit with her. But I didn't. I removed myself from the uncomfortable situation that was placed in front of me.
So, I looked up fight or flight because I know I have learned about it time and time again in this health class and that psychology class, but I still didn't remember. And here are some things that pertained to me today.
Inhibition of Lacrimal gland (responsible for tear production) is a symptom. Hello! That is why I wanted to cry. Not because I was sad. Not because I was mad. Because my body wanted to, simple as that.
Also, women are more likely to cope with stress through social support, that is, by turning to others to both give and receive instrumental and emotional aid. This pattern of responding has been called “tend and befriend,” and refers to the fact that during stressful times, women are especially likely to show protective responses toward their offspring and affiliate with others for shared social responses to threat.
Which is exactly what I did, while sitting in that cube, waiting, twiddling my thumbs, I texted Cassidy telling her how I felt out of place and awkward. Then after I walked out to my car, and called her, and ranted and raved about how I had just walked out and how that half an hour had just sucked all of the happiness out of me for the time being.
Wish me luck and pray that I don't lose my job on Monday, my fourth day.
---happy birthday to miss cami p.
