he is funny, too!

As if it wasn't enough that he is a great artist, Jill don't say anything because you know you like Kalai deep down and you lie everyday about hating him. Kalai is funny too! I just am going to paste this blog that he wrote right here below because it made me laugh.

Women

Women.

Care and handling-

What can you say about women. So much but nothing that will be understood. For instance, if I were to say something like , "I wish I had a million hot dogs right now because I'm so hungry". Then, some chick somewhere would actually hear, "I would rather pray to the genie of mixed meats than eat the food that you prepared for me so late that I could eat my own stomach!" She would then proclaim that I was insensitive and unaware of her plight in the world. Also, I would tolerate her unfair rant because she would look good doing it.

Communication is everything but here are some do's and don'ts:Talk to your lady friends. Say stuff like Wow, you look good. Do not say Wow, you look good to me. Relative as those two statements are they produce very different results. Do not communicate nerdy hobbies i.e. sci-fi love, aquariums, toy collecting, bird calling, dog training or any animal training, reading etc. Do not cry unless someone dies. A woman might say , "I like a man who cries", but what they're not saying is," I like a man who cries to eventually see me naked."

Fixing fights:So you've violated some of the don'ts above and got her real mad. The resolution of such fights can only take place if you're not a moron who "got personal" during any verbal exchange taking place within said fight. Now, even though she's real mad you must first try to top her off by repeating the annoying behavior etc. that got her riled up in the first place. Example: You're late again. She don't like that. Next, Interrupt the fight politely by saying something like, "hold on one second, I'll be right back." Then, go back out to your car and listen 5 of your favorite songs or something. Now, go back into the house like what you just did didn't take half an hour and try to continue where you left off. This should really piss her off. The idea here is to get her to the point of being out of control until it happens… She swings… Offer her your chin, step into the strike so she gets all of you. No matter how hurt you are, pretend you are %150 more hurt. NOW PAY ATTENTION, you have a 1 second window to prey on the otherwise good nature of your lady friend. She will lean forward a split second, thinking that she kinda crossed the line a bit, offering, only in body language, a subtle apology (If the subtle apology anomaly does not occur, abort!). But this apologetic state, like an upside down shark, is only a glimmer of peace that, if ignored, will flip over and bight you right in your fricken mind! So, the second has arrived… You must dive in, eyes closed, and commence, without hesitation, the heaviest makeout session ever! The emotional confusion of the moment should stun the shark/woman long enough to deactivate her angry juices and bring her back to what's important, you. Either it works or it doesn't but my way gets you some action maybe.

Next week: No way dolphins are the smartest.